Speaking of Mr. Cruise and Ms. Holmes

Written on 8:20 PM by Jack B.

So now has Tom Cruise announced his engagement to Katie Holmes. What a surprise...NOT! Tom-tom would have us believe that this is relationship is a real one except I (like so many others, it seems) can't find myself believing that for several reasons:

a) The only people who publicize every single moment in their relationships (including announcing the details of asking the woman to marry you on Eiffel Tower within moments of doing said action) are famewhores and insano in the membrano actors. Which ones Tom & Katie are I'll leave to you.

b) How convienent this "relationship" only becomes public (and then when it does it is in the papers every single day) only when both parties involved have big summer movies to promote

c) If Katie Holmes is really the love of Tom's life and he was dying to meet her, why the heck did he ask 4 other younger and more famous starlets to be his "girlfriend" first?

d) Why does Katie Holmes need a Scientology "handler" if she's totally with the program? And why after dating and being engaged to actor Chris Klein for 5 years (their 2 year engagement only being called off in March - 3 months ago - of 2005), does she agree not only to marry Tom-tom but convert from life-long Catholicism to Xenu worship?

Seriously, what is the matter with a man who needs a woman on his arm at all times? What is he trying to prove? Just think - from 1987 to 1990 he was married Mimi Rogers, then from 1990 to 2001 he was married to Nicole Kidman (who he met on the set of Days of Thunder) and a few months of filing for divorce from Nicole in 2001 (who said she had no idea it was coming) was dating Penelope Cruz (who he met on the set of Vanilla Sky) and then after breaking up with Penelope (maybe she didn't go along with the Scientology thing?) he stayed out of the limelight and was apparently dating nobody until all of a sudden he has a new movie coming out and then is seen with Katie Holmes (who as I mentioned just ended a long engagement this March) who he apparently had "always wanted to meet" and who he "called out of the blue". It would be more believable if he hadn't tried the same thing with Jessica Alba first and she was having none of it.

Is Katie that dumb? What the heck is she getting out of this other than a proper brainwashing? Does she really think her career is going to get a boost from this? Sure she may become more famous but she's not going to get better roles by being with Tom. Nicole Kidman didn't become an A-List Oscar Winner until she dropped his crazy behind. Right now, Katie's career trajectory has become being the friend/love interest/supporting player of the title character in a Warner Bros. teen show to being the friend/love interest/supporting player of the title character in a Warner Bros. comic book movie. Whole lot of progress there for Ms. Holmes, don't you think? And apparently Tom-tom is now picking roles for her. Not a good sign for her career, in my opinion.

But then I'm biased, ever since Tom-tom attacked Brooke Shields out of the blue for her use of anti-depressants because of post-natal depression after pregnancy I've had a real loathing of the guy. First of all he doesn't know what he's talking about with depression (I know all about anti-depressants and clinical depression since I've been there personally - which is another story) and second he's never been pregnant and thirdly he took pot-shots at her career and that...IS JUST NOT COOL. So Tom-tom can never be insulted enough in my book and I have no intention of seeing War of the Worlds even if Spielberg directed it and even if the uber-talented Dakota Fanning and Miranda Otto are also in it.

It also can't be an accident that as Tom gets older, his women get younger. Yes, his first wife Mimi Rogers was older than him but after they divorced (and after she introduced him to Scientology) he has continuously looked for young and malleable actresses with considerable less fame than him.

Nicole Kidman was born in 1967 - Tom-tom was 5 years older

Penélope Cruz was born in 1974 - Tom-tom was 12 years older

Katie Holmes was born in 1978 - Tom-tom is 16 years older

Is it too far a stretch to think that when Katie is Nicole's age at the time of their divorce (34), that Tom-tom will start trolling for a younger model, I wouldn't even be surprised if Michelle Malkin's thoughts about a future FreeDakota site is not that far off. After all Dakota may be little now but in 10 years she'll be 21 - just the age Tom-tom likes.

The best take-down of Tom-tom I've seen yet comes via Fametracker with the piece, Someone Please Shut Tom Cruise Up, Seriously

Another good one is Catawampus's Is Tom Cruise secretly a pod person? and The National Ledger's Is the Tom and Katie Engagement 'Mission Impossible?'

All 3 are a good synopsis of the freak show that has become Thomas Cruise Mapother IV.

Meanwhile on the "Holmes" front, for every freekatie.net website seeking to free Ms. Holmes from the grip of Mr. Mapother IV there is John Campea over at The Movie Blog who asks: Who Gives a Rip About Katie Holmes!?! Which when you think about is a good question - before she became Tom Cruise's girlfriend/fiancee/Trilby I didn't give a thought to her. But now I do - and its not a pleasant thought. I feel pity for her. I don't think this relationship is going to have a pleasant ending.