My Life is a Credit Card Commercial...

Written on 4:40 PM by Jack B.

Number of fingers it took to poke my eye out = 1

Number of hours of work I missed because of said eye = 4

Number of hours sleep it took me before I stopped squinting = 18

Number of dollars I paid to the doctor to tell me to “do nothing” and it’ll heal itself = 50

Proof I’m a self-destructive idiot whose brain cells often fall asleep at the wheel = Priceless