My Life is a Credit Card Commercial...


Written on 4:40 PM by Jack B.

Number of fingers it took to poke my eye out = 1

Number of hours of work I missed because of said eye =

Number of hours sleep it took me before I stopped squinting =

Number of dollars I paid to the doctor to tell me to “do nothing” and it’ll heal itself =

Proof I’m a self-destructive idiot whose brain cells often fall asleep at the wheel = Priceless

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