This is a joke...

Written on 10:33 PM by Jack B.

Blair and Pope Herald New Age of Catholicism

Excerpt:

The deal arranged by Blair, expected to be announced later this month, involves utilising handheld technology, in which Hewlett Packard is a market leader, to enable practising Catholics to keep an ongoing schedule of their sins. That record, uploaded into data ports incorporated into the side of confessionals, will be available to the attending priest on a screen in his compartment. Having read the
'e-fession,' the priest can then choose from a database of atonements which are uploaded back into the confessor's handheld device.

As the device continues to be used on a regular basis, it builds a history of its owner's misdemeanours and the recommended repentances for them. It is believed the software features a function which automatically calculates a suggested frequency of confessions and, when connected to a confessional, will enable priests to gauge at a glance which atonements are working best for each individual.

"It's spiritualism on the go," an anonymous source at HP told Regan Blakemore of Reuters. "In the setting of a high-paced world of life-shaping decisions, it makes communing with God a smoother, more immediate and satisfying process. It takes the grind out of being righteous."