This is my kind of Letter to the Editor!

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Written on 7:54 PM by Jack B.

From a letter to the Editor in the UK Herald:Pernicious purpose of The Da Vinci Code.
I'm going to copy it in full, it's so good:

I always wanted to use the word "bollocks" in a letter to The Herald, but never quite had the nerve. Now Ron Ferguson has beaten me to it (July 28). Well, good on him. Seldom has a book more richly deserved the description of "complete bollocks" as Brown's Code. (I refuse to ennoble this poppycock with the epithet "Da Vinci").

However, there are aspects to this wretched book that Ron Ferguson doesn't mention. For one thing, Dan Brown conflates all Christianity with Roman Catholicism. Presbyterians (staunch or otherwise), Lutherans, Orthodox, (Greeks, Russians, etc) are all cheerfully ignored or presumed to be insignificant variants of Romanism, when it comes to Brown doing his hatchet-job on Christianity. And apart from being a great moneymaking scam, there is a real and pernicious purpose behind Brown's book. It plays the same role today as The Protocols of the Elders of Zion played in the past vis-à-vis the Jews. It exploits and inflames populist anti-Catholicism, which is now the only religious prejudice that it is acceptable to parade.

While all concerned liberals are wringing their hands over the dangers of Islamophobia, the good old Orange Walks continue to bash their drums of hatred. And The Herald's columns continue to be replete with letters fulminating about RC schools being hotbeds of indoctrination, brainwashing, irrationality, religious superstition, etc, ad nauseam.

I pose a simple question. Would anyone dare produce a book claiming that Islam is nothing more than a global conspiracy maintained by systemic deception, lies, and murder, practised over the centuries since the death of Mohammed? Even if the author claimed that it was all just good-natured fiction anyway? Can anyone imagine the outcome if a film were made of such a book – with or without Ron's lookalike, Tom Hanks? And how would this go down in Leeds, Bradford and other places with a sizeable Muslim population? Can you imagine the riots, arson, and general civil commotion?

And can you also imagine how the liberal left would be all a flutter with indignation at such an eventuality. "An irresponsible attack on the intelligence and faith of our Islamic fellow-citizens. A divisive and dangerous film. This vicious piece of propaganda deserves outright condemnation. It should never have been shown in our cinemas . . . " I could write the scripts for them. But when it comes to Catholicism and Brown's bollocks – a thunderous silence. I wonder why?

Brian Quail, 2 Hyndland Avenue, Glasgow

Wow! Brain Quail, I don't know you, but all I can say is: RIGHT ON! The Da Vinci Code is indeed "bollocks" and can never called what it is enough to suit me.

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